you wrote me a beautiful note on a beautiful card you gave me lovely funny things you honor me beyond all saying
I cherish your gifts because they’re your gifts.
And I cherish them as tokens of your constant gift of your presence, your miracle, the fact that you are.
And as an outwardness and visibleness in unity with the communion of tenacious embrace with Clara, whom we hold, tight and tight, never to let go, who holds us too, tight and tight, never to let go. We are and we are always-more-already and we live enwrapped in the heart of the perpetual becoming and the forever being.
And as another pledge of your steadfast assurance that we can dwell in possibility, in that good kind of possibility, a possibility that someday our tears will be wiped from our eyes, a possibility that someday we’ll be comforted and consoled and held in an everlasting care, a possibility of a someday when there is no more mourning nor sadness nor pain.
And that you bear the burden of knowing all this, that without you I might miss the possibility, or I might forget, and that it seems as if it’s OK for you to bear it.
–an infinitude, some profound real-ness, a plenitude of grace and peace and truth; an abiding sanctum mysterium of water running deep and deep, deep in the cave of the heart, water of clarity absolute, of life and hope; a grace past all possible imagining, past all understanding, all deserving, a peace–
that’s the best I can do now, to tell in words what it feels like to love you, my Charlotte.
concerning the yinyang symbol:
Diagram of the Supreme Ultimate, from the Compendium of Diagrams (detail), 1623
Zhang Huang (1527-1608)
Woodblock-printed book; ink on paper 26.3 x 15.5 cm (each page)
© The University of Chicago Library, East Asian Collection
accessed 29 june 2011